5 Perks of Being Single
As Valentine’s Day quickly approaches, many singles (over 110.6 million Americans actually) collectively cringe as they wait for the day after—discounted candy and Singles’ Awareness Day (SAD). But here at Ember we have good news! You don’t need to feel sad about being single—both this week and any other time of the year. Apart from the obvious benefits like getting to watch your Netflix choice whenever you want and having the whole bed to yourself, we’ve identified some of the deeper reasons that finding yourself in a single phase can be a damn good thing.
1) It’s Good for Your Physical Health
It’s science people—being single can keep you healthier. Turns out, single people hit the gym more! Studies have found that people who were single and had never married exercise more frequently every week than married folks. According to a 2017 study published in the Journal of Women’s Health, single women were also found to have lower BMIs and risks associated with smoking and alcohol while single men were less likely to suffer from heart disease. Why not take advantage of the extra time you have to make a fitness and nutrition plan and pursue the healthiest version of yourself? Wanting to spend more time at your favorite yoga studio? Interested in trying a new class like kickboxing or barre? We can’t think of a better season to start!
2) Improve Friendships
Not only does being single leave you extra time to improve your physical health, it also gives you the time to prioritize your friendships and deepen those connections. Many dating relationships will start and end but your best friends will last a lifetime. Research shows that being single actually increases social connections because single people reach out more to their social networks. They’re also found to give and receive more help from their friends compared to those who are married. Fun fact—the better you are at developing your platonic relationships skills, the better prepared you are for a romantic relationship should you ever want that. We love that for you. And Galentine’s this year falls on a Saturday, the best day of the week!
3) Enhances Psychological Growth
Studies are showing that being single is a big time benefit when it comes to mental health. Research by DePaulo out of the University of California, Santa Barbara found that not only do those who remain single have an increased sense of self-determination and autonomy, but they also experience continued growth and development as a person. Data shows that those single people who were the most self-sufficient had less chance of experiencing negative emotions meanwhile finding the opposite to be true for married individuals. At Ember, we also think being single is a great season to work on your mental health. Whether you pursue therapy with a licensed counselor or choose to work with Ember and receive therapeutic life coaching, you will not be “wasting time” while single. Instead you’ll find more self-awareness, stress relief, freedom from trauma…the list goes on.
4) Learn to Love Yourself
It’s a real challenge to give and receive love from others if you don’t love who you see when you look in the mirror. Once you turn inward and learn to love who you are all on your own, without having someone reflect that back to you, you will come to really know the love you deserve. The bar will rise, your standards will become higher, and you’ll have the confidence to break patterns that have brought you to relationships where you were not treated well. We constantly run into women who are unhappy in a relationship but don’t believe they deserve better. This breaks our hearts. As our idol Brené Brown puts it, “You are imperfect and you are wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.” Oof. Preach sis. If you are reading this thinking, “I don’t think I can ever reach a place where I believe that about myself”—we are here to help. You deserve better. We know you are so worthy and have such high value and would love to help you believe this about yourself.
5) Embrace Autonomy
Being single allows you to develop the self-assurance from deep within yourself that you can do this. Instead of feeling pressure trying to adapt your life to your romantic partner, you get to pursue the things that set your soul on fire with zero guilt or concern you are being “selfish”. Taking time to make yourself a priority allows for the mental space to identify what is really important to and what you truly want in a life partner and beyond. Developing this confidence to communicate those values to your next partner and comfortably walk away if those values aren’t reciprocated is the key to feeling good about who you are and what you have to offer. The ability to be on your own without becoming lonely is a skill that takes time and practice. It requires putting in the work to move from a deficit mindset “I need someone to complete me” to a fulfilled mindset “My life is great and I only want to bring someone into my life who will add to my current happiness and fulfillment”.
We Got You
If being confident in who you are or struggling with enjoying independence is an obstacle for you, we have good news. Here at Ember we have mental health professionals available to coach you through these challenges. Whether you choose to just text with a coach, or meet weekly, biweekly or monthly with your coach over phone or video chat—we know you will find the help and support you need here at Ember. If you’re wondering if therapeutic life coaching is for you, fill out our contact form, find us on Instagram @Joinember, or just email us at aubrey@joinember.com. We can’t WAIT to hear from you!